Standing On A Chair

Telling it like I see it…

On Intimacy

I had a conversation recently with my friend “Zelda.”

 “You need a man, Jill,” she told me.


 “Because you must have intimacy to be truly happy.”

 “But I have intimacy.  I’m in love with my DVR.  I am warm with contented intimacy in my apartment.  I have rich, verbal intimacy with my clients every day, and I am most intimate with my books!” 

 “No,” said Zelda.  “You need intimacy with a man.”

 “Are you kidding me?  The last time I tried that, the man could hardly work up an erection.”  (This probably had to do with the fact that I don’t have the body of a 20-year-old anymore, and neither does he.  Plus, there was so much dysfunction going on in that relationship, I’m still embarrassed that I participated.)

 Truth be told, a couple of years ago my libido released its life-long fist-clench on my body and soul, and as a result I am positively giddy with feelings of emancipation and lightness of being.

 “I do occasionally miss having some kind of closeness with a man, Zelda.  But what I want now is more of a trusting friendship.  One that’s comfortable.  Affectionate.  For me, that’s pretty intimate.”

 “Ridiculous!” said Zelda.  “How boring!”

 “True intimacy between a man and a woman, Zelda?  I don’t know.  I hear rumors about some couples being able to achieve that.  But me?  You’re aware I’ve been exceedingly mentally-ill in the husband-picking department?”

 “Nonsense!  Don’t give up!  Sex should last into your eighties and nineties!”

 “The hell it should!  Can you imagine old people having sex?  Old people look awful when they’re having sex!  It’s time for me to move on to something new and different, for God’s sake!”

 At that, Zelda walked away from me, shaking her head sadly from side to side.

 From where I sit, it seems that we humans are built with an intense desire for intimacy, but then we are also held back by an acute fear of it.

 I’m still looking for answers. 

 Remember, this is my take on the thing.  Just sayin’.


September 28, 2010 - Posted by | Intimacy |


  1. Love it can’t wait for more!

    Comment by "hunny bun" | September 29, 2010 | Reply

  2. The blog is so totally YOU!! I love it and I CAN handle it. Most of all I love you and your BLUNT honesty. I knew from the first time I met you that we would bond. You continue to amaze me. I love you!

    Comment by Carla Loveless | October 3, 2010 | Reply

  3. Lol! Haha…. I like this zelda and I LOVE u! Rock on! You have a great sense of humor jill! Pammiepooh

    Comment by pamela rode | October 21, 2010 | Reply

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