Standing On A Chair

Telling it like I see it…

Rants from the Chair: On Being Grateful

Everything in the world feels like it’s falling apart.  I swear to God.  Globally, nationally, locally and, half the time, inside my miniscule personal space.  So much of what happens is completely out of my control. 

Many nights I crawl into bed exhausted, curl up in the fetal position and beg for sleep to come quickly, which it always does.  But then 3:00 a.m. comes, and I awaken to a bellowing bladder.  After that, it’s two hours of agonizing ruminations before I can get back to sleep.  I’ll think about every mistake I ever made in my entire life and be wracked with feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.  And then I’ll move on to the big world and quake in fear of what is to come.  Or worse, what is not to come. 

I am grateful every morning when I wake up, however, to discover those feelings are gone, replaced by enthusiasm for another new day.  Thank God for that.  Otherwise, I’d be dependent on an array of pharmaceuticals to keep me from going totally off the deep end.

Being grateful is what keeps me sane.  I don’t want to drop a bunch of clichés all over the place here, but I am such a lucky person for so many reasons:  I’m not homeless; I’m not starving; I have work; I have good health; I have friends; I have family; I have independence.

Plus I have so much more.

I feel things.  And I am in close touch with people who feel things too.  We’re connected.  Together, we go through it all, from the pits of anguish to the peaks of pure joy, and everything in between.

For that, I am grateful.

Advertisements

May 17, 2011 - Posted by | Mental Health | , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. I am traveling solo for the first time this summer. I got myself a bracelet to wear that says “Never alone. Always connected.” It’s a good reminder.

    I’ve been reading two interesting books. One is called The Mindful Way through Depression: Freeing Yourself from Chronic Unhappiness and the other is Bhudda’s Brain. Each deals with how we attend to the negatives and that becomes a pattern and then give ways to break the patterns. Expressing your gratitudes, as you have just done, is one of them.

    Comment by Becky Day Wilson | May 17, 2011 | Reply

  2. Jill, I have discovered the answer to the 3AM bellowing bladder problem; stay up till 3:15AM! I haven’t worked through the other junk yet, but the bladder thing I have conquered. I think it comes down to being satisfied with being grateful for what you have. If you try to figure out the rest it will sure as hell drive you nuts.

    Comment by Linda Wines Stokes | May 18, 2011 | Reply

  3. Good points

    Comment by toasty redhead | May 28, 2011 | Reply

  4. Im grateful to have people like u in my life!!

    Comment by carly | June 7, 2011 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: