Standing On A Chair

Telling it like I see it…

Re-rants from the Chair: On the Almighty Orgasm

[Author’s Note:  Here’s another early Rant for those readers who may have missed it the first time around.]

In spite of the title, this piece is not meant to stir anybody’s loins or anything like that.  Quite the opposite, actually.  And I feel I am qualified to write objectively on this subject for two reasons:  1) my libido is on extended hiatus; and 2) I am just mentally ill enough to do it in a public forum.

Looking back on my rather lengthy and quite active sexual history, I have concluded the following:

First, ninety percent of the time, sex is not what it’s cracked up to be.  (The other ten per cent?  Ah, but those memories do live on, soaring through my psyche on blessed, divine occasions.)  From where I sit, it seems that the profound, orgasmic explosion we all anticipated as virgin teenagers, touted as routine when having intercourse, is basically a myth.

Second, a woman’s ability to achieve orgiastic release while having sexual intercourse has more to do with her state of being, than with the man’s expertise in the sack.  For example, if you are a female who comes from a philandering father and a mother who stayed with him as punishment, such acute dysfunction makes it difficult to trust, which means it’s difficult to relax enough to let down and let go. 

Third, both men and woman resort to faking it…some more than others.  Men are expected to endure long enough to make it happen, and women are expected, by God, to produce!  And vice versa.  So since nobody wants to look or feel like a failure in bed, (because Heaven knows if an orgasm doesn’t happen then the whole thing is unfortunately deemed a disappointment), somebody better fake it…and quick!  How can anyone feel sexy and romantic with all that shit going on?

Fourth…uh, simultaneous orgasms?  Are you kidding me??

Why does sex have to be all about the orgasm?  After all, we can have one by ourselves in about ten seconds.  Is no one paying attention to how amazing it is to just connect at the deepest physical level?  To make one human out of two? 

I think we should forget about “The Big O” for a while.  If we can eliminate all those ridiculous unrealistic expectations, maybe we can be blown away by surprise when it actually happens on its own!

And that’s my take on the thing.


August 7, 2012 - Posted by | Orgasms | , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Love your take on this subject! How’s your Mom doing? Much better, I hope.

    Comment by Linda Wines Stokes | August 7, 2012 | Reply

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